Motherhood has a way of changing you. From the moment you see the lines on the pregnancy test to the day you meet your baby, there is an irreversible change that occurs. Not only does it affect your body, it changes the way you view things around you, your hormones, and your interactions with others.
Motherhood has a way of teaching us lessons about ourselves, others, and the world we live in. In the passing moments, as you watch your baby grow, you are exposed to the many facets of yourself you need to become to raise them. The many layers of you that you have to peel to find the person they need. Whether it’s in the kitchen as you cook up a scrumptious meal, or when you nurse their wounds, help them find something they are missing or try to respond to all the demands on you and your time.
Being a mom teaches us all different lessons.
Some may be obvious, while others seem to creep up from nowhere and you realize as you look back at all the people you’ve had to be to raise your child, that motherhood has changed you. Motherhood has shaped you and coupled with life, motherhood has been a teacher to you.
For me, in my single motherhood journey, I have learned grace and unconditional love. In the moments when I felt as though I wasn’t enough, I drew strength from my children and their need for me. For the many times that I reprimanded myself for not knowing something or making a mistake, I found grace in the forgiving eyes of my babies. Because for them, it’s not about perfection. It’s not about the expectations I set on myself; it’s about their need for me. Their need for the basics that I can provide.
Motherhood has taught me to align my priorities and to let go of the desire to please others. To forgo the chase for affirmation from other moms and to parent my way.Motherhood has taught me to align my priorities and to let go of the desire to please others. Click To Tweet
In addition to my lessons, I asked seven moms to share how motherhood has changed them and what they learned through their journey. Here are their responses.
- 1 Amy Bronkhorst
- 2 Alifya Haider
- 3 Laura Baumann
- 4 Tamara McClendon
- 5 Chelsea Bivens
- 6 Devy Sam
- 7 Arti Yadav
“Motherhood Has Taught Me To Parent Positively”
Amy is a mom to six kids, ages 5-24. At Starting Parenting Over, she shares her experience of adding two little girls to her family when her boys were all teens. She also teaches parents how to incorporate positive parenting technics and provides quick tips to help parents manage their children’s behaviors.
My parenting journey has been very different than most. Raising four boys was an exciting and challenging adventure in itself. Then when they were almost grown, we added two girls to the family. They joined us at 16 months and three months old, when my boys were 13-19 years old. Do you ever wish you could have a “do-over”? Starting parenting over has given us the opportunity to look back and evaluate how we parented the boys and figure out what we want to do differently with our girls.
We parented our boys with a traditional method, using rewards and punishments to shape behavior, teaching them to be obedient and respectful. What I’ve learned is that most parenting methods will work well for some children but not for others. As our girls began to grow, it became obvious that traditional parenting would not work with them at all. That’s when I began searching for a better way.Most parenting methods will work well for some children but not for others. Click To Tweet
What I have found is positive parenting. It is neither parent-led like some methods nor child-led like others. Positive parenting is a wonderful balance of the two, with parent and child working together. Positive parenting gives the biggest number of families a chance for success, seeking to help the child do better by figuring out the reasons behind the misbehavior, connecting with the child, and teaching them about their emotions.
To learn more about positive parenting, I invite you to join my Parenting Littles Book Club on Facebook, where we encourage one another on our parenting journeys while reading a variety of positive parenting books. It’s okay if you don’t have time to read, you can join and learn from the discussion as well
“Motherhood Has Taught Me Not To Judge Other Moms”
Alifya is a mom to her 3-year-old daughter, who is the light of her world and the reason she blogs. Together they love doing fun, creative and educational things at home. On her blog, she shares fun things to do at home with kids. https://www.alifyasinspirations.com
Motherhood has taught me a lot of things. Like a truckload of lessons, all bombarded on me in a single day. The day I became a mom! However, what I believe to be the most important lesson of being a mom is to never judge other moms and to never say NEVER!What I believe to be the most important lesson of being a mom is to never judge other moms and to never say NEVER! Click To Tweet
When I wasn’t a mom, I used to judge other moms, who stopped going out altogether or stopped living their life just because they had a baby! I used to think I will NEVER be one of those moms. I would be the one to put my baby in a carry bag and go out whenever and wherever I please!
Little did I know, that my post partum body would be so weak that I wouldn’t be able to carry myself with ease for months, let alone a crying baby who needed to be breastfed, diaper changed, and cleaned up every hour.
I used to judge people for inviting their kids into their beds. I used to say: “I will put my baby in the cot, and let her sleep by herself. I will NEVER coddle her, and invite her into my bed. I need my space”. These were my exact words! And boy, do I regret them!
Because soon after birth, the night time feeds begin. And it is too much work. Too much work to get up every hour and feed, then get back up again to put the baby on their bed, only to realize a minute later that they are back up again!! Soon enough, I got down my high and mighty horse and gave in. Soon, I was one of those moms who clutch their babies and sleep in a half-sitting, half-sleeping position, mouth wide open, not daring to move an inch in case I wake up the baby (God forbid).
I used to judge other moms when I saw them handing out their cell phones to make their kids stop crying. I told myself that I would NEVER be one of those moms. But I was one of those moms. I did give in. I killed myself trying not to, but I gave in at last. I tried to engage my daughter elsewhere most of the time, but I did hand her my phone 1 time out of 10.
This made me feel terrible. Not only because I gave in, but because I judged. This made me realize, that what if when I was judging those other moms for handing out their cell phones, maybe that was their 1 out of 10 times when they felt desperate enough to give in.
All this made me realize that I cannot and will not judge other moms for anything ever again! Because you can NEVER know until you get there. And when you do get there, you realize that everything cannot go the way you planned. And those moments of judgments for other moms lead up to moments of judgments for yourself. And when that happens, you get hit by a tornado you never saw coming! So, since then, I have never said NEVER and lived happily ever after.
“Motherhood Has Taught Me How To See The World”
Laura is a proud mother and a yoga and meditation teacher. She’s originally from The Netherlands but currently lives in sunny Florida with her family. She helps mothers who are entrepreneurs overcome stress and burnout with all her self-care tools. A combination of yoga, meditation, and mindset work to help them find balance with family and work so they can thrive on all fronts! In her blog, Laurabaumannyoga.com, she explains the benefits of yoga and how to live a healthy, joyful life!
The biggest thing I learned about motherhood is how I used to see the world compared to now. Before I became a mom- and this is how I see my life too: before I was a mom and now as a mom, sort of like a split personality!- I was stuck in a rut.
Actually, my clock was ticking. Although at the time, I didn’t even think of that. I thought I was dealing with depression and having lost my sense of purpose.
I thought I had seen it all and it wasn’t pretty. Reality bites. I was burned out and jaded. Then, there she was, a little miracle growing inside of me! I know how cliche this sounds… But I felt empty and once I knew I was pregnant, it filled me up with joy, purpose, hope and yes a dose of absolute, shameless nerdiness! Any little thing is something to get excited about!
“But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.”“The Little Prince” by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
My daughter’s pure joy and excitement over anything is not only hilarious, it is highly contagious! The most mundane thing can be so intriguing, like getting a new toothbrush had her over the moon the other day! Collecting sticks and rocks when we take a walk, is like finding gold. A trip to the grocery store has my ice-princess gliding over its smooth floors.
She will stop, drop, and sing her heart out. Anytime. Anywhere. And she’ll happily draw me into her magical world! Everything that I once thought was a chore or boring, is not. I just needed a little fairy to open my eyes. And there she was!Everything that I once thought was a chore or boring, is not. I just needed a little fairy to open my eyes. And there she was! Click To Tweet
“Motherhood Has Taught Me That I Am Capable Of Anything”
Tamara McClendon is a SAHM of two little ones. She shares her motherhood experiences on her blog Mamma-Tribe.
My kids give me strength, happiness, and so much love. I have learned more patience than I ever thought was possible being a Mother. They have taught me what being fully present looks like, enjoying the very moments, they have taught me how to find joy in the littlest of things, and have given me my inner child back. They have taught me that life is far greater and bigger then ourselves and the fact God has chosen me to be their Mother will be forever the greatest thing I’ve ever do.
Motherhood has also taught me that what we do as Mothers is God’s divine work, they are His creation, children are His light, and that raising children is a spiritual journey that goes into the depths of our souls if we let it. It can give your heart, so much joy, peace, beauty, and unconditional love once you let go and embrace every detail of it.What we do as Mothers is God’s divine work, they are His creation, children are His light…raising children is a spiritual journey that goes into the depths of our souls if we let it. Click To Tweet
The chaos, the crazy, the good the bad, the whirlwind, the fun, every single emotion motherhood brings is a larger life lesson. It teaches you selflessness. It teaches you, unconditional love.
Motherhood is getting to raise the future generation and planting seeds you hope will flourish for years to come. Motherhood is a choice you make every single day. You rise up, show up, and find strength and guidance deep down somewhere to raise tiny humans for the greater good. Being a Mom has given me a higher purpose, God’s will for me, and it’s something far greater than ourselves, so I will keep rising up and meeting him in the midst of it every single day.Motherhood is getting to raise the future generation and planting seeds you hope will flourish for years to come. Click To Tweet
In the midst of motherhood, is where your heart lies. I’m so grateful I get the opportunity to do thy will on Earth. There is absolutely no greater purpose in life than being a Mother. And if you have been given such a responsibility and gift like myself, make sure you are the absolute best one you can be! Your children deserve an exceptional Mother.
“Motherhood Has Taught Me That Life Is Unpredictable Yet Predictable At The Same Time”
Chelsea lives in Ohio with her 3 kids with a large family. She runs The Bustling Mom.
What I’ve learned from being a mother is that life is unpredictable yet predictable at the same time. Predictable when they kick you in the face while throwing a tantrum, unpredictable when they apologize for throwing a tantrum.
Predictable when they want to clean their room later, unpredictable when they clean without being asked to. Predictable when they inevitably hate you for not giving in, but I never could have predicted how much love would be between me and my children.
Through all the ups and downs, you know it was so worth it. Because I created human beings. I taught them, raised them, did everything to make sure that they would grow up to be, at the very least, decent people. They are forever a part of me.Through all the ups and downs, [motherhood] is so worth it. Click To Tweet
“Motherhood Has Taught Me Patience, Resilience, And Gratitude”
Devy owns and writes Thousands of Miles Away, a lifestyle blog for moms who relocated far from family and friends. She talks about motherhood, self-growth, and self-care.
Being a mom has taught me more about patience, resilience, and gratitude in a way that I didn’t think I could. The sleepless nights and the constant worries over my kids are just a few examples of what I have to go through the motherhood journey. And the patience that I need in dealing with my kids is something that I never thought I could have.
I’ve also learned how to appreciate every little thing such as my baby’s smile, or the first time my baby started walking. I’ve become so soft that I could cry over doodled drawings of my toddler.
A tear of joy.
But most of all, I’ve learned that no other occupation in the world can be as rewarding and ever encouraging for my personal growth except being-a-mom. Because as a mom, I face my days of different colors every day. No day is the same. And every time, I find myself learning something new. Be it something to do with child psychology, relationship, time management, organization, finance, food nutrition, or simply about cooking. Not to mention the things that I’ve learned from my kids, as a result of being their mom.I've learned that no other occupation in the world can be as rewarding and ever encouraging for my personal growth except being-a-mom. Click To Tweet
Motherhood also teaches me about unconditional love, and about how to find the strength that I always have inside me. I’ve learned how to thrive and stay up even when I’m down. I’ve learned how to keep going even when things feel hard.
Although the motherhood journey is not always easy, I won’t trade it with anything. And I’ll do it all again if I have to. Because this journey has given me a whole life purpose. A meaningful direction of my life. And as the saying goes, “once you become a mother, you’re a mother forever.” So the journey never ends as long as you live.As the saying goes, "once you become a mother, you're a mother forever." So the journey never ends as long as you live. Click To Tweet
“Motherhood Has Taught Me That Every Mother Is Special”
Arti is a mom of twin girls. She enjoys blogging and having some imperfect selfies with her daughters. You can find some amazing articles about life, parenting, and personal growth on her blog at Escape Writers.
As a mother, you always have to give all the time, love, and care to your children. You are the only one who thinks beyond your happiness. Regardless of the country and religion, each mom is the best so don’t compare them.As a mother, you always have to give all the time, love, and care to your children. Click To Tweet
Before being a mom, I did have more respect for working mom vs homemaker. A working woman must have to balance family and work life. But when I choose to become a full-time mom, I realized how hard and challenging it is for me and to every single woman.
You will face lots of criticism of being a lazy and worthless woman when you choose to stay with your kid for the betterment of a family. Some of us might manage to live our dream and face a lot more criticism of being an ambitious and careless mother who has to leave her kids to daycare centers.
I know, comparison is easy because the whole world is crazy with the word “MOTHER”. I am going through many phases of motherhood. I had my girls after 5 years of marriage so many people thought I was not fertile. Having babies who are premature and going through NICU, I saw many mothers, even I, compare my motherhood journey with other moms.
I was not able to breastfeed my twins which àlso lead to mom guilt in myself and I was depressed at that time. But above all, I choose to stay strong and respect each difficulty I faced. I can now closely relate to all the moms who are facing a lot of criticism of being not so good mom.
The decisions we made and the circumstances are different. We as women should support other moms. Nowadays, post-partum depression is a crucial issue for a lot of moms.
We need to have a good community where we don’t compare each other but respect each mom. And that starts with us.
Whether you’re a Working or a Stay at home mom, you are a good mom!!!
Whether you Breastfeed or Formula feed, your baby will be a healthy kid.
Whether the floor is clear or your wardrobe is messy, you are doing your best mom!!!
Whether you are white or black woman, you are an amazing mom!!!
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned from being a mom? Let me know in the comments.
Let’s continue this friendship we’ve started…
I am creating a community of single parents who are dedicated to winning despite the situation they are in and would love for you to join in!
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