Oh, Valentine’s Day! The day most singles dread and feel even lonelier! I have never really felt anything towards this day before, even when I was single, but this year, it hits differently. This is my first year as a single mom and among the many challenges I have faced in this journey, the single nature of single-motherhood is one that stands out as this day approaches.
I don’t necessarily have a problem being single. Despite that, I know that it would be easier to be single without kids because there is no attachment to the past. But to be single with kids is to be reminded that you are alone in this. It brings back the feelings I once felt of loneliness as the desire to be in the company of another creep up. It is so tempting to drown in feelings of sadness and wallow in the “what-ifs” and “why me” but we’re better than that.
See I believe that you don’t need to be with someone to be happy or to feel loved. I believe that you can still enjoy this day despite your relationship status. That’s why in this post, I will be sharing some of the ways you can spend Valentine’s Day as a single mom.
1. Take Yourself Out on a Date
This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself and to throw a pity party! Yes, you are single. No, you won’t be cuddling with anyone tonight, so what? Embrace this part of your life and take the time to love yourself and treat you right. Take yourself out on a date. Go to that one restaurant you’ve been waiting to be taken to! Dress up, put on makeup, hire a babysitter and go and enjoy yourself. Stop waiting for a man to do these for you.
I personally enjoy going on solo dates! I find that you have to be strong emotionally to sit at a restaurant by yourself amidst people enjoying each other’s company and still be content. Being alone at that table and not feeling lonely is a great testament to your growth as a person. It is hard. It is hard to see others enjoying each other’s company while you drown your sorrow in alcohol. And that is what I don’t want you to do.
Singlehood is a great time to know your self and to be with your self. This is the time to be uncomfortable, to try new things, and develop yourself, despite your kids. So go out on that date, sit by yourself in your discomfort and be okay with that knowing that it won’t always be this way. Be happy for those that have found love because you will also find love.
Now if you are uncomfortable going out on Valentine’s Day, you can also go out the day before. But as they say, if you can’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone else?“If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre Click To Tweet
2. Write your babies a love letter and spend the day with them
Valentine’s Day is a great day to show your family you love them so why not share the love with your babies? Take the time to show your kids just how much you appreciate them. You can create traditions with them that will bring smiles to you both. Teach them that they don’t have to be in a relationship to enjoy this day. Teach them to love themselves and love others. Teach them how to be alone on Valentine’s Day and still be happy.
Here are a few ways to spend the day with your kids:
- You can write them a love letter and leave it where they’ll find it or encourage them to write letters to family members.
- Prepare heart-shaped breakfast pancakes with them if they’re older.
- Write a letter of appreciation to/about your ex with them. (This might be stretching it but if you are in a good place, show appreciation to your ex. Don’t send him a letter telling him you love and miss him; that’s a no-no!)
- Dress up in cute outfits and take pictures.
Another way you can spend Valentine’s Day is by watching my videos. Which you can do right here!
3. A night out or Playdate with other single moms
Link up with other single moms and have a playdate where you can all share in love and appreciation for each other. You may also choose to pay for a babysitter and go out together on a night out. I think its important to have other single moms in your corner that are also winning and that are not allowing the events of the past to affect them. Find a group that inspires you and motivates you to be a better mom so that instead of throwing a pity party where you all talk about how bad your exes are, you can spend the time enjoying your singlehood.“As your life evolves, so should your circle.” ― Izey Victoria Odiase Click To Tweet
4. Pamper yourself + Self Love
This is a great time to shower yourself with love! So send yourself roses and chocolates! And if that gets old reinvent new ways to put a smile on your face. Take yourself out on a pamper day. Splurge on yourself! You don’t have to wait for a man to do these things for you.
5. Show love to others
This is the best time to show others what love is. You can go volunteer with your kids to show them how to demonstrate love to others. You can also create crafts with them for your ex to show them that even though you are not together with their father there is still a family love and appreciation. Choose to spend the day with your family where you all show love to each other.
It is so easy to feel sorry for yourself on this day and any day for that matter. You can choose to allow your feelings about the past to affect how you spend this day or you can let go of what happened and embrace a new future. I strongly believe that you can still be happy as a single mom. You don’t need to run to the arms of any man just to fill a void. Embrace this season in your life, choose to forgive what happened in the past, and be the best version of yourself so that when the time is right, the right man will come and you will no longer have to sit at a table for one.
How will you be spending Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comments!