If you are currently pregnant and single, you are probably wondering how to prepare to be a single mom. Having a baby while single is one of the scariest and biggest life changes you will experience. The idea of raising a child by yourself with little to no help from your ex can leave you feeling alone and scared for the future. That is why it is important to prepare for baby as soon as you learn of your pregnancy.
In this post I want to share with you some of the things you can do to be better prepared for this new role as a single mom. When I found out I was going to be a single mom to twins, I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know where to start. I was concerned about the bills and how I could afford it all.
However, having the right information and expectations could have helped me be better prepared and ready for the challenges I have faced. This post will give you the tips you need to be better prepared as you venture into this new role as a single mom.
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How To Prepare To Be A Single Mom
1. Prepare Financially
If there is one thing that will cause you the most stress as a single mom, especially if your pregnancy is unplanned and unexpected, it’s money. So I would highly recommend you prepare yourself financially from the get-go.
Read more about how you can prepare financially here.
Here are some of the expenses you should be preparing for:
- Medical Bills
- Diapers and wipes
- General Bills (Rent and utilities)
If it is possible, discuss with your ex about finances and how he will help you in raising the child. You will have to decide if you will accept financial help from him. You can also consider receiving financial assistance from the government. However, you may not be able to apply for assistance until you deliver but it is good to learn all your options beforehand.
2. Buy The Essentials
Preparing for your baby can be really exciting as you anticipate their arrival so you may be tempted to buy everything you see, however, I recommend just buying the essentials. Don’t splurge on items you can live without.
When I was getting ready for my twins, I couldn’t stop buying newborn items! But at some point, I had to realize that they were going to grow out of newborn clothes pretty quickly. As you are buying the items, especially clothes, make sure you keep in mind that they grow pretty quickly and will most likely not use some of the items you buy.
3. Plan ahead
Aside from planning the financials, you do need to plan out other aspects that will affect your life as a single mom.
Work: Consider working from home if your employer offers that option. Also check to see if your employer offers maternity leave and for how long. Decide how much time you’ll need with baby and if any extra time isn’t paid, plan for how you’ll pay your bills during that time.
Meal Prep: Meal prepping is really beneficial especially for new single moms so I would recommend that you prepare some freezer meals before the baby arrives. You can prepare meals to last you a few weeks so that you don’t have to worry about cooking.
Day Care: If you plan on utilizing daycare after your child is born, start researching daycares in your area. Most daycares fill up quickly so research and reserve your spot as early as possible so you can secure a place for your child.
4. Emotionally and Mentally Prepare
I had a hard time during my postpartum recovery because I struggled with depression and I was very emotional. I was not ready to be a single twin mom. It took me a while to overcome these hormonal changes and take back control and that is why I recommend you prepare yourself mentally.
Being a single mom is hard. But you have what it takes to overcome any challenges you face.
5. Line Up Your Support Team
As a single mom, you will need all the support you can get so take the time to line up your support team. If possible, consider moving back home with family so they can help you.
6. Set Up A Self-Care Routine
You may not consider this but self-care is going to be vital as a newly single mom. Thus I would recommend you start a routine right now before your baby arrives so that you can be able to continue it when things get hectic.
Your baby will take a lot from you and you need to be able to recharge so you can be able to take care of them to the best of your ability. Make self care a priority.
Your self-care routine doesn’t have to be complex. It can be as simple as watching your favorite shows when your baby goes to sleep, reading a book, or spending some time alone.
7. Create A Birth Plan
Who will be there during delivery? C-section or Vaginal? Epidural or all-natural? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself before your baby arrives. Truth be told, you can’t anticipate everything that will happen but you can take some steps to be better prepared.
For example, I was hoping for a vaginal birth but it ended up being an emergency c-section because my induction failed. My family was also working so they couldn’t be there most of the time so I was by myself a lot. I went through most of the process alone. I couldn’t have prepared for these events but it is good to keep this in mind.
Furthermore, if your family is unable to be there during the birth, you can start to prepare mentally to deliver alone or see if you are able to have a friend come with you for support.
Truth be told, you can never be fully prepared for motherhood. However, you can take certain steps to make sure that you are ready for anything that happens. These tips will help you be better prepared and hopefully calm some of the fears you may have.
Remember that you have what it takes to care for that child/children. You are strong and capable! Nothing is impossible to you. It may be hard, it may be painful, it may be unfair, but it is not impossible and you can do it!
Did I miss anything? What are some steps you are taking/took to be better prepared for baby?
Let’s continue this friendship we’ve started…
I am creating a community of single parents who are dedicated to winning despite the situation they are in and would love for you to join in!
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